


But Home Is Nowhere

by KalluraIcedCoffee



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Have some angst to go with your angst, In every reality, Love finds a way, Post-Canon, Season 8 was a nightmare, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2019-10-13 11:50:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17487527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalluraIcedCoffee/pseuds/KalluraIcedCoffee
Summary: Allura is given a second chance at life in another reality and is ready to settle down there. Meanwhile Keith hasn’t stopped looking for her, hoping she’s still out there somewhere in the stars. When he finally finds her he can’t wait to bring her home, but does she even want to go?





	1. Lost Then Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura gets a second chance. It feels like a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for valentinaaray who messaged me a while back with an idea that I could use for a post s8 fic and it was a damn good idea I think so here we are! I had been on the fence as to whether I even wanted to do a “fix-it” tbh and then this request fell in my lap and gave me the kick in the pants I needed.

Allura looked back at the paladins one last time, an ache in her chest so deep it swelled and radiated throughout her body. Her mouth curled into a tight lipped weak smile. _Don’t show them how much this hurts, don’t show them how scared you actually are. That can’t be their last memory._

She turned and walked until the light drowned them out, until she couldn’t see them anymore, until their faces faded and Alfor and the others came into view. She thought it would be an eternity before she saw her father again, thought she would be old and gray, thought she would be a queen, holding the small hands of her grandbabies one last time.

Not this soon.

Alfor held out a hand.

“Come daughter. You’re done fighting. You’ve given all you can. Rest now.”

 _Rest_. That word stuck and clung and she realized just how tired she actually was all this time. The strain of holding the weight of the universe finally caught up and the idea of letting it all go actually sounded nice, but…she would have carried that burden just a little bit longer if that meant she could stay with them. She just needed more time.

Allura reached for her father, fingertips grazing his when she suddenly heard the lions roar so loud it was almost deafening. Her hands clamped over her ears as they roared again, each distinct but in unison, calling out to her in one voice.

_Your journey is not done…_

She sank to her knees as the sound intensified. Alfor lowered his hand and took a deep breath with a smile. He made no move to go to her but instead turned and headed toward Blaytz, Trigel and Gyrgan to join them.

“Is she coming?” Blaytz asked.

“One day, but today is not that day old friend.” He put a hand on the Nalquod’s shoulder as they walked away from her.

She curled up, her whole body vibrating.

A silent scream fell from her mouth before everything faded to white…

 

 

 

Allura gasped, harsh and loud as she sucked air into her lungs and lurched up in the hospital bed.

A doctor and nurse, who were just leaving the room, immediately turned on their heels and scrambled to hold her down.

“Get her some oxygen!” the doctor yelled.

The nurse just stood there dumbfounded and in shock with her hands on Allura’s arm.

“I-It’s not possible. It’s been 45 minutes since we called it!”

“We can discuss this later help me damnit!” The doctor’s eyes were wide, confused. She was just as horrified as the nurse but in that moment her patient needed her.

The next moments were a blur. Images faded in an out as Allura slipped to and from consciousness.  When she came to again sometime later, she was still in bed with two familiar faces staring at her.

“Oh thank heavens!” The woman exclaimed before bursting into tears.

“It’s ok Mel, she’s here, she’s back with us.” Allura’s father looked upon her with red tired eyes as he rested his hand on her mother’s shoulder.

“F-Father? Mother?” Her voice was rough, her throat dry.

“So proper all of the sudden.” He smiled and came around to kiss her on her forehead.

“They told us you were gone, but that you came back. It’s a miracle!” Mel continued between sobs.

Allura was speechless. Her head still felt cluttered, disoriented. She was unsure of what exactly was happening. Was this a dream? Can you dream when you’re dead? At least for the moment she could savor the feeling of her mother’s hand. It had been a long time.

The doctors ran numerous tests and came back with a clean bill of health which should have been impossible considering her condition when she was initially admitted, but they had no way of explaining it.

 A miracle. That was all anyone could call it.

Eventually there was nothing more they can do so they allowed the family to go home where her parents would monitor her with follow up check ups. When her mother entered her room with a change of clothes to go home in, Allura looked at them perplexed.

“Earth clothes?” Allura stared at the sweats cradled in her mother’s hands.

Mel’s brow furrowed and then she chuckled.

“I see your sense of humor is back. Put them on honey so we can go. Let me know if you need help.”

Allura reluctantly took the clothes and eased out of bed, walking slowly into the adjoining bathroom, her joints achy and sore. She closed the door behind her and shuffled in front of the mirror. One look at her reflection and she had to stifle a scream.

Every Altean trait was gone. Her once blue eyes were a dark brown. White hair was now black. Silver and rhinestone earrings filled her rounded ears. Barely visible freckles replaced her cheek markings.

She took moment to explore her own face with trembling fingers as her heart beat wildly before she backed into the wall and slid down to the floor, shaking, shivering, eyes welling with tears.

“Allura, sweetie, everything ok in there?” Mel lightly knocked at the door.

Allura jumped at the sound, quickly wiping her cheeks and trying to steady her voice.

“Just need a minute!”

After some time she emerged from the bathroom and placed her hospital gown on the bed. Despite her protest they put her in a wheelchair to be taken to the car. She sat with her face contorted as she listened to her parents talking to her, about her. She couldn’t concentrate. They kept referring to themselves as Alfred and Melanie or Al and Mel for short and while their accents were still there, their speech was incredibly informal. They looked human as well, though their hair was still white from age, and it dawned on her that everyone around her was human as well.

They pushed her into a large open structure filled with more cars than Allura had ever seen since her time at the Garrison, every shape and size and color. They wheeled her up to a car that reminded her of Colleen and Sam, something they owned called a sports utility vehicle. She crawled in the backseat and sank into the leather after putting her seatbelt on.

Her parents continued to chat but it was nothing white noise to her as she stared out the window, taking in buildings and places and things she didn’t recognize as they whizzed by. Cities became suburbia, became neighborhoods and soon the car pulled into the driveway of a two story house.

“Your room is still as you left it.” Mel took her by the hand and led her upstairs.

Allura’s eyes darted about the house like a scared animal. She didn’t recall any of it but it wasn’t exactly like she expected to. Mel pushed open a door at the end of the hallway and led Allura inside.

“You should lay down and rest for a bit while I take care of dinner. Your uncle might stop by tomorrow, he’s worried sick you know, and maybe I can have your cousin Romelle stop by the dorm and get some of your things. Allura? Allura are you listening?”

She wasn’t, not entirely. She sat on a bed she assumed was hers and was inspecting the room. Mel sighed.

“Well as I said I’ll let you rest a bit. Let me know if you need anything at all. I love you sweetie.”

She pressed her lips against her daughter’s temple and left her alone in the room. The second the door shut Allura was on her feet. She still felt exhausted but her need to explore outweighed her fatigue. She walked over to a shelf filled with books and keepsakes. Novels leaned against tennis trophies and academic awards. Two fluffy pom poms in purple, black and gold sat beside a large snow globe and a teddy bear.

Allura moved on to a desk, running her fingers over the wood. She pulled out the chair and sat down, clicking on the nearby lamp and studying the copious amount of photos and notes pinned and taped to a corkboard in front of her.

She pulled in a deep shuddering inhale as she focused on the pictures filled with familiar faces. Her in a blue cap and gown holding a bouquet with her parents. Her, Coran and Romelle at some sort of fair. Her in her cheer uniform. Her and Hunk sitting at a lunch table. Pidge and Lance in a gown and tuxedo posing in front of backdrop with stars and a large crescent moon. Her and Keith posing in front of the same backdrop.

She instinctively reached forward and snatched the picture down, staring at it in her shaking hands. In the photo she wore a strapless violet mermaid cut gown heavily beaded from the bust to her waist. Her hair was in big full curls and there was a small gathering of flowers around her wrist. Keith had on a black tux with matching violet handkerchief tucked in the breast pocket with flowers pinned to the chest. “ _Starry Night_ ” read in metallic silver lettering in the bottom corner.

Her head jerked up to see the rest of the pictures. Group photos with all the paladins, minus Shiro, at what appeared to be a school. A picture with Allura, Keith, Shiro and Adam, the latter two in tuxedos and rings on their fingers. A long strip of black and white photos of her and Pidge in some sort of booth. Hunk on one knee in an athletic uniform with numbers across his chest and a helmet tucked under his arm.

Her hand clamped over her mouth. What was this? Whose life was this? She barreled out the room and down the stairs, standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Is this real?” she blurted out.

Mel stopped stirring the contents of a large pot and turned around.

“What dear?”

“Is this real? All of this, is it real or am I dreaming?” The tears started to flow freely.

Mel immediately rushed to her and wrapped her daughter up in her arms, stroking the back of her head.

“Shhh shhh it’s ok I’m right here. It’s all real. You, me, your father. We’re not going anywhere and neither are you.”

Mel held Allura tight and gently rubbed her back as she swayed with her, letting her cry until there were no tears left.

“You’ve been through a lot and we’re gonna get through it together, I promise. Now go get washed up for dinner ok? Perhaps a nice home cooked meal will make you feel better.”

Allura sniffled and nodded before doing as Mel asked, returning shortly thereafter to a set table where her mother and father were waiting for her. They attempted to ease the tension by discussing things that had happened while she was away at college, before she’d gotten too sick, before the hospital. Allura didn’t recognize most of the names of the neighbors and coworkers that were mentioned, but she put on her best diplomatic face and attempted to engage as she twirled her dinner in her fork. Al had referred to it as spaghetti and Allura found it to be quite delicious, in addition to the garlic bread that came with it. For dessert they had ice cream, finally something she knew of, and she relished the cold treat, going back for seconds.

After dinner her mother ran her a hot bubble bath before bed and she eased into it with a contented sigh as her muscles relaxed in the warm water. She played with the foam, cupped it in her hands and blew it away as she let her mind settle. She still had questions, a million of them in fact, but until she could sort things out she would have to just live this life, whatever it was exactly. She leaned back and let herself slip under the water.

That night her dreams were vivid, visions of being pulled from the paladins by the dark entity, screaming out for them, reaching for them as they turned their backs on her before she jerked awake. Her hands immediately went to her eyes, rubbing the sleep from them and simultaneously shielding them from the morning sun spilling into her bedroom window. She shifted and an arm around her waist tightened.

“Mmm five more minutes” a voice mumbled in her ear from behind.

Allura blinked and turned over to see a sleepy Romelle cuddled close in her pajamas.

“R-Romelle?”

The blonde grumbled before opening her eyes slowly. She looked tired but the second she laid eyes on Allura her face lit up and she pulled her in close.

“Dad and I got here late last night. He couldn’t wait. When we heard that you…” her eyes glistened. “I’m so glad you’re ok Lulu.” Romelle buried her face in Allura’s neck. “I love you, don’t scare us like that again.”

Her voice was soft and frail and Allura brought her arm around her.

“I love you too Romelle.” She snuggled her back.

“I bet you could guilt dad into making us waffles. He’s been so worried about you he’d give you whatever you wanted.” Romelle smirked.

“Waffles?”

“Yeah waffles. Why are you acting like you don’t know what waffles are?” Romelle raised a brow.

“Ah heh yes waffles, I was just joking with you.” Allura chuckled nervously.

Romelle shrugged it off and pulled Allura out of bed and downstairs where all the adults were waiting for them in the dining room over coffee. A man sat with his back to her but Allura would know that shocking red hair anywhere and her heart shivered at the sight of him.

“As you’ve probably noticed your uncle and cousin are here” Mel announced and went to brew a fresh pot.

“Allura!” Coran turned and rose, walking briskly toward her and swiftly wrapping her up in an embrace. “Don’t ever try to leave again without saying goodbye” he whispered softly, voice breaking just slightly.

Allura fell apart then. It was immediate. She thought of her Coran back home whom she wasn’t able to see one final time, to tell him all that he meant to her. She imagined the expression on his face when the paladins came back without her. How did they tell him? How did he take it? He’d be the only ancient Altean left.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” she sobbed against his chest, wetting his shirt.

This Coran didn’t know, he couldn’t possibly have known but she felt the need to apologize all the same.

“No need to apologize my dear. You’re here and healthy and that’s what matters.” He nodded and wiggled his mustache, something her Coran used to do all the time when she was little to get her to smile.

Allura laughed through her tears and wiped at her face.

“And hungry. Romelle said there would be waffles.”

“Did she now?” He leaned to the side to look past her at his adopted daughter.

“I’m just saying she’s been eating that god awful hospital food and you make really good waffles. Pleeeeease.” Romelle placed her hands on Allura’s arms from behind and rested her chin on her shoulder.

“Please?” Allura chimed in with a pout.

“Waffles do sound good Coran” Al added as he walked by sipping from his mug.

“Oh fine!” Coran acquiesced, waltzing into the kitchen and taking the apron Mel was already holding out for him with a smirk.

After breakfast and showers Romelle and Allura were back in Allura’s room. She sat on the bed looking through photo books of the _other_ Allura, pouring over the memories that had been created there while Romelle propped herself up against the desk.

“Oh my god I forgot about the pink hair” Romelle yanked her old volleyball picture off the corkboard.

Allura looked up and smiled.

“I think you looked lovely.”

“Thanks. I remember dad hating it.” She chuckled and came to sit beside Allura on the bed, looking at the photos along with her.

“Are you gonna see them?”

“See who?”

“The gang. They were all really upset when you ended up in the hospital.”

Allura looked down, her expression becoming more somber.

“Do they know?” she asked softly.

Romelle’s lip quivered just slightly and she quickly clamped her teeth down on it to halt what was coming next.

“That you d-…no. Uncle Al only told dad and I didn’t tell anyone, promise. They just know you collapsed, went to the emergency room and it got pretty bad there for a while.”

“I see…”

“Well anyway I texted Hunk to tell everyone that you were all right. I’m sure they can’t wait to see you. We should get everyone together. There’s still some time left in summer break.”

“Sure.” Allura nodded and smiled weakly.

She wasn’t as enthusiastic about the idea as she probably should have been. In fact the thought of seeing the paladins again made her stomach churn and bubble with nervousness and dread. She should be honest with Romelle and just tell her she wasn’t ready, she needed more time, she needed-

Romelle’s cell phone buzzed repeatedly from her bag breaking her train of thought.

“Oh hold on a sec.” She fished it out and stared at the screen. “Speak of the devil.”

“Hmm?”

“Hunk, he’s blowing up my texts right now.” Her mouth curled into a smile. “He says Keith won’t stop asking about you, how you are, if you’re ok, he wants all the details.”

Allura’s chest tightened.

“K-Keith?” She followed her surprise with a chuckle in attempt to give the impression she could care less. “I’m sure everyone’s just concerned.”

Romelle rolled her eyes and lay back against the headboard, fingers typing away wildly on her phone.

“You guys are so annoying just screw already.”

“Excuse me?!”

“You heard me. I’ve never seen two people dance around things as much as you two.”

Allura couldn’t help but snicker in a defeated manner. Clearly some things didn’t change regardless of which life they were living.

“I think I need some fresh air.” She slid off the bed and headed for the door.

“What should I tell him?” Romelle uttered with pursed lips.

“Tell who?”

“Hunk…Keith…do you want to see everyone or not?”

Allura shook her head and shrugged.

“Yes? No?”

“How about next weekend? Give yourself a little bit more time? Besides I doubt Auntie Mel would even let you out of the house this soon anyway.”

“Sounds good.”

Allura made her way downstairs, making sure to step softly so as not to catch the attention of Coran or her parents that were in the living room. She slipped out the sliding glass door into the backyard and curled up into a patio chair, taking several deep breaths.

She was used to leading without much guidance but at the moment she would have given anything for someone to tell her what was happening, what to do, what to feel. She wished for at least one person to confide in. Loneliness overwhelmed her suddenly.

 

//

 

Keith handed out the last of the food capsules in the crate to the alien refugee before him and headed over to Ezor who was low on supplies herself.

“There’s only a few blankets left” she reported.

“That’s fine, we have more back at the base. We can come back tomorrow. Finish up here.”

Ezor nodded and went back to work as Keith made the rounds to check on the other Blades. It was getting late and they would need to head back soon.

The Blades distributed the remainder of the relief items and headed onto the supply ships. They shot off toward the skies, watching the planet’s sun set behind them until everything turned to stars. Keith sat quietly, lost in thought.

“She’d be proud of you.” Krolia leaned over and stated quietly.

“Hmm?” Keith snapped out of his trance.

“She’d be proud of you, of what we’re doing.”

He shifted in his seat and turned his face away from her.

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

Krolia sighed. She knew better than to bring her up around Keith, it was an unspoken rule. But she foolishly thought the comment would cheer him up in some way.

It didn’t.

They returned to base, Keith helping unload the ships silently with the exception of giving orders. He took his meal in his room and didn’t show his face for the rest of the evening. Pulling a tablet out from under the bed, he powered it on as his head hit the pillow. A few taps with his fingers and soon a recording began to play.

“Oh Mr. Kinkade!” the familiar voice piped up as her face appeared on screen.

Ryan caught her in the dining hall. She blushed in front of the camera out of nervousness, that and her mouth full of food.

“This is for your documentary isn’t it?” she continued after chewing quickly and swallowing.

“Mhm.”

“Oh dear, well what would you like me to say?”

“Anything you’d like princess. Something about life here on the Atlas?” he suggested.

She composed herself and sat straight, clasping her hands to look more dignified.

 “No matter the hardships we endure we’re all here working together to try and bring peace to the universe and I believe we will be successful.”

“Perfect.”

Allura smiled before something off camera got her attention. Her expression softened and she stared longingly. The camera panned and settled on Keith waiting in line with this tray to be served. It quickly turned back to Allura who realized she had been caught in the act and she became flustered, suddenly putting her hand in front of the camera.

“Oh please edit that out Mr. Kinkade will you?”

Keith touched the screen and it paused. He must’ve watched the clip a million times, fast forwarding to that exact moment and stopping it once finished. He’d watch it again and again until his vision clouded with tears, bringing the back of his hand over his mouth to stifle the sounds of his choking sobs. He turned on his side and curled up, pulling the tablet into his chest.

“Come back to us…” he begged softly, his voice but a hoarse whisper in a pitch black room, “please.”


	2. Across the Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith was always drawn to Allura, in every reality.

Allura stood in a towel and slowly rifled through her closet feeling overwhelmed. She took out every item and inspected it. _Other Allura_ was definitely bolder in some of her fashion choices than Allura would have ever been allowed to be back on Altea. She could just picture Coran turning her around immediately to go back and change which sort of made this experience a bit thrilling. Her phone on the bed buzzed and she picked it up staring at the screen.

 

_Hunk Garrett_

_7:00PM_

_Leaving in 5 minutes_

 

It had taken Allura some time but she eventually was able to get the hang of using a cell phone. It was like a small version of the tablet she’d had back on the castle ship but with more distracting things on it. It’d proved to be a godsend in that it acted as sort of a mini study guide of _Other Allura’s_ life and she spent hours looking through every picture and text message and social media account hoping it would help her seamlessly fit in when it came time to be reunited with the others. She didn’t have _Other Allura’s_ memories but she could pretend like she did.

She picked up the phone and responded with a “see you soon” before placing it back on the bed and returning to the daunting task of picking out an outfit. She was still unsure how Earth fashion worked so she looked at old pictures of herself to see how outfits were supposed to go together. Given that she still had to figure out her hair, she picked an oversized gray sweater that fell over one shoulder, jeans and white sneakers. She fashioned her hair into a loose braid, wavy tendrils spilling out everywhere and framing her face. She still hadn’t gotten the hang of the makeup so she skipped it.

 It had been a week and as was promised, Hunk was going to pick her up and bring her to the rest of the paladins to spend time together. She sat up straight on the bed, hands placed flat on her knees, foot tapping rapidly. She tried to take deep breaths to steady her heart to no avail. The phone buzzed again.

 

_Hunk Garrett_

_7:57PM_

_I’m here. Do you want to come out?_

_Wait, should I come inside?_

_I should say hi to Al and Mel shouldn’t I?_

 

Allura smiled. She missed that indecisive rambling. It was decided that he should come inside and after exchanging pleasantries with the parents he snatched Allura up in a bear hug.

“Easy, I’m still a bit out of sorts” Allura admitted.

“Sorry! Sorry sorry sorry!” He pulled back, but then went in again for a gentler hug. “I’m glad you’re not sick anymore.” He sighed happily.

“Me too…” she said softly, feeling safe and secure against his broad frame.

“Ready to go? Everyone can’t wait see you and I mean every-one.” He playfully nudged her.

She stared at him, blinking.

“I mean Keith dummy.”

She looked away before clearing her throat.

“Let’s get going shall we?” She smiled and walked around him and out the door toward the car.

Allura sat quietly while Hunk drover and talked her ear off as a rhythmic thumping song played in the background. Most of the things he said didn’t necessarily warrant a response so she was happy to sit and get her thoughts together. For as much information that the cell phone held, she still was unsure of how she was supposed to act once she saw everyone. _Other Allura_ seemed bubbly and energetic, and Allura could be that, but honestly it had been such a long time she wondered if she even remembered how. What was it like to just be, to relax, to have fun with your friends? She couldn’t recall the last time she’d felt that sort of peace. In fact all she could recall was the sickening feeling of having her body and mind infested with the dark entity. She shook off the sudden nausea as Hunk’s car pulled up to an apartment complex.

“You ok?” Hunk looked at her as she sat staring vacantly. “Allura?”

“Hmm?” She blinked and suddenly she was back. “Yes of course.”

“If you’re not feeling up to it we can go. I told everyone to be chill.”

“It’s fine.”

They got out of the car and she followed him up the various walkways until they were in front of a door. As he rang the bell she moved to side, but still slightly behind him, subconsciously using him as a bit of a shield. She kept her eyes down.

“Hey!” Pidge exclaimed after throwing open the door.

Hunk stepped inside and left Allura exposed. After giving herself a quick mental pep talk she lifted her head and smiled.

“Hi.”

Pidge skipped the greeting and dove into Allura’s arms.

“I’m glad you’re better, you scared us!”

“Sorry for worrying you.” Allura smiled as she held her back, stroking the top of her head.

“Don’t apologize. Just don’t get sick again ok?”

“I’ll try my best.”

They pulled apart and Pidge took her by the hand to lead her the rest of the way in. Lance and Keith were sitting on the couch and Lance hopped up immediately while Keith stayed put. He and Allura locked eyes, before her attention was on Lance who wrapped his arms around her neck. She flinched slightly as his touch. Given how they left things, being near him in this new context stirred confusing feelings in her.

“Welcome back kiddo” he whispered in her ear as he slightly rocked her back and forth.

“Good to be back” she said softly in return.

Keith had stood up by now but was keeping his distance, his hands staying tucked in this jean pockets. He still wore his signature black tee and jeans only this version had drawings and symbols painted up and down both arms. She’d seen someone at the Garrison with such markings once. Shiro called them tattoos. They suited him. His hair was just as long and thick and shaggy as always.

“Hey…” His eyes seemed to pierce her with laser like focus.

“H-Hello.”

“Good to see you, good to see you’re feeling ok.” He shifted around nervously.

“Thank you. It’s nice to see you as well.”

“You’re not even gonna hug her? She was in the hospital man.” Lance cut in.

“Can you chill?” Keith snapped at him.

“It’s fine.” Allura put her hands up and chuckled awkwardly.

“Let’s have a drink shall we?” Pidge piped up, eager to diffuse the tension, and disappeared into the kitchen to grab refreshments.

She returned with a six-pack of beer and yanked each one from the plastic ring and handed them out. Allura took it and held it, watching everyone crack theirs open first before following suit. She slowly brought it to her lips and sipped it, trying her best not to wince at the bitter taste. Still, it was miles above nunvill.

“Should we watch a movie or something?” Pidge asked as she settled in Lance’s lap.

Allura watched them intently for a moment. It appeared they still stayed together since the time in the prom photo in Allura’s room.

“Maybe a board game?” Hunk suggested.

“Drinking game!” Lance called out.

“Hard pass, I have work tomorrow.” Hunk pouted.

“Boo.”

“Speaking of which I’ll have to bring you home early tonight is that ok Allura?” Hunk asked.

Allura nodded.

“That’s fi-”

“I’ll take her home” Keith quickly cut in. “If you want…” he added.

“S-sure.”

Everyone flashed knowing smirks and shifted in their seats.

“Let’s just do a movie” Keith grumbled, changing the subject.

“But it’s a Friday night!” Lance whined.

“Allura just got home ok, I doubt she’s trying to have a rager.”

Allura didn’t know what a “rager” was but considering how she was slow rolling the beer in her hand she assumed Keith was accurate in his statement.

“Maybe next weekend, I’m still recovering” Allura spoke up.

“Fine, fine we’ll do a movie.” Lance grimaced.

Allura was actually quite interested in the movie. She’d never watched Earth films before and only the smallest bit of television back at Garrison. Everyone else seemed to only be watching it casually, drinking and joking while Allura’s eyes were glued to the screen.

“You’re watching this so intently, like it’s the first time or something” Keith whispered after leaning in.

Allura jumped at the sudden sound and his breath against her skin.

“Am I?”

“Yeah which is weird cause we’ve seen this like a million times.”

“Oh, yes, right.”

“Goofball.” He let out a soft raspy chuckle in her ear and tousled the back of her hair.

Her heart skipped and sped and a million butterflies fluttered in her stomach.

They watched the rest of the movie without incident after which Hunk left first as planned. Pidge and Lance cracked open some more beers, the perks of hosting at your own place, while Keith and Allura passed. They sat around and chatted a bit more.

“Mom is driving me nuts. She’s already asking about grandkids like, can I finish my degree first before even thinking about marriage or any of that shit?” Pidge laughed and gulped her beer.

“Yeah I’m too young and beautiful to be burdened with kids” Lance joked.

Pidge smacked him upside the head.

“How are Colleen and Sam? Are they well?” Allura asked.

“Uh yeah, they’re fine.” Pidge cocked her head. “They were happy to see you’re doing better by the way.”

“Ah, that’s nice to hear…and Matthew, is he ok?” Allura looked genuinely concerned.

Pidge’s forehead crinkled and her Lance and Keith exchanged a quick puzzled look.

“Yeah, Matt’s great, why wouldn’t he be?”

Allura let out a laugh and waved it off.

“It just feels like…just curious is all. Really lost track of time in the hospital you know?”

“Yeah, I can see that. Anyway cheers to being back.” Lance held up his beer.

Pidge held up hers, Keith and Allura their sodas.

“It’s getting kind of late. I should get Allura home.” Keith suggested.

“Yeah, rest up so we can party next weekend!” Lance formed his fingers into a gun and fired at her playfully.

“Hell yeah!’ Pidge chimed in.

They exchanged hugs and goodnights and when Lance waved and closed the door there was silence. Silence on the way to the car. Silence once they got inside. Silence on the drive home. Well there was a soft somber acoustic guitar playing on the radio, but other than that no words were exchanged. Looks were exchanged, stolen glances, lips would part just slightly as if about to say words but each thought the better of it. Then Keith pulled up to the house and turned off the ignition, jingling keys cutting through a quiet that felt almost stifling.

“Thank you for taking me home…goodnight” Allura muttered.

“Goodnight” he responded a little too quickly.

She waited for him to say more and when he didn’t she nodded and slipped out shutting the door behind her. She rifled through her purse looking for the keys to the house, quietly cursing and missing the ease of automated doors, when she heard the driver side door slam with footsteps fast approaching.

“Lu wait.”

Allura turned and was immediately caught up in an embrace, warm and tight, his scent quickly flooding her nostrils. He wrapped one arm around her neck, hand planted in her hair with the other around her waist. She gasped at first in surprise before easing in. Her arms found their way around to his back and grasped his leather jacket as she pushed out a heavy sigh and let herself melt into him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t do this earlier. I just, with everyone there…you know how I am.”

“I know.”

“God I was so fucking scared when they said you went to the emergency room and that you got worse and then at one point they just stopped telling us what was going on, Romelle just said it was bad and then even she was too upset to update us and we couldn’t even come see you.” His voice was rough and cracking and he squeezed harder with each passing moment.

“I’m sorry” Allura said weakly. There was a guilt that tugged at her knowing their Allura was gone, that she died in that bed and now someone had taken her place. Allura felt like she didn’t deserve such a gift, getting to swoop in and have her life, have her parents, her friends, hold her Keith like this.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Hey…”

He pulled back and brushed the loose strands from her face and ran his thumb along her cheek.

“I know it’s sort of soon to bring this up but maybe at some point we could resume our conversation before everything went down.”

“Uh, heh, refresh my memory please.”

“Jeez what happened to you in there? Amnesia?” He chuckled.

“A little.”

“You know, about us.”

Allura immediately looked anywhere but his eyes.

“Us?”

“Yeah, about giving us a try? I know we’ve been friends for a long time and I definitely don’t wanna ruin that, but I think we can both admit things have changed over the last year and, what I’m saying is, I’m willing to see where this goes if you are.”

Allura’s head jerked up. The butterflies had turned to giant birds with massive wingspans flapping inside her.

The thumb that had been massaging her cheek moved to her lips, dragging the bottom one down with it as it positioned itself at her chin, his fingers underneath tilting her head upward. Their noses were the first to touch, then their mouths, barely, softly.

It was scarcely a kiss, but just the slightest touch sent a shockwave that rippled through her and outward and made her flinch. Keith seemed unaware.

“Just think about it ok?” he whispered.

“O-Ok.”

He let his hand fall and backed away from her, looking at her for as long as possible before turning to the car and disappearing inside. She spun around and headed for the door quickly, trying to shove a key in the lock with a trembling hand. Her other hand was at her mouth, touching her lips with shaking fingers.

//

Keith’s body flung up in his bed inhaling in ugly harsh gasps. Sweat dripped down his chest, pasted his damp hair to his face and neck. He grabbed a shirt, tugged on pants and quickly bolted from the room.

Krolia sat in an empty control room on the night guard shift sipping the equivalent of coffee. The doors hissed open and next thing her son was standing in front of her looking like he’d seen a ghost.

“She’s alive!” He panted.

“Excuse me?”

“Allura, she’s alive!”

Krolia blinked slowly, then sighed and put her cup down.”

“Keith…”

“I’m serious! I saw it in a dream or maybe a vision, fuck I don’t know!” He growled and pushed back his hair with his hands and began pacing.

“Tell me about this dream” she said calmly.

“I was back on Earth and Hunk, Pidge and Lance was there and Allura was there too but she looked different, human. And we were just hanging out but when I looked at her I kept seeing our Allura phasing in and out, like one minute her hair was black, next it was white. Or her cheek markings glow and then go away. And then I took her home and we were talking and I…we…we kissed and it felt real, it felt so real mom and it sent this wave through me, I could feel it. She’s out there, I don’t know how or why but I feel her” Keith explained, waiving his hands around as he strode back and forth.

He stopped when he was done, waiting for her reaction.

“And how do you know it’s not just a dream because you miss her.”

“I just know! Before all of this started, when I was back in dad’s old shack something was pulling me, calling out to me and it turned out to be the blue lion that led us to Allura. I’ll never forget that what that felt like and it’s happening again. I know this sounds crazy but I’ve always been able to sense her, like when they were getting attacked by Lotor, I could literally hear her, see her and Blue.”

Krolia sat quietly and thought. She didn’t want her son to get his hopes up, but she also knew what it was like to lose someone you loved and how if there had been even the smallest chance Keith’s father had still been out there somewhere she would have gone to the ends of the universe to get him.

“So what do you plan on doing with this information?” She sat back and crossed her arms.

Keith walked around a bit more, ruffling his own hair before stopping and planting both hands firmly on his hips.

“I’m gonna find her mom. I’m gonna find her and bring her home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the chapters seem short so far, but you know, pacing :)


	3. Try Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura struggles with how much truth to tell, as does Keith

Allura sat in the patio area of a restaurant, pink baseball cap shielding her eyes from the sun. She fiddled with her phone while looking around nervously. After a deep breath she took a sip from one of the two glasses of water the waitress set on the table.

The events from the night before had her rattled for a myriad of reasons. The kiss had shaken her up plenty but she also realized how poorly she was passing for Other Allura. She needed help, she needed to be able to confide in someone. Obviously she wasn’t going to reveal everything but she needed to be able to have someone to talk to. Back in her reality there were three people she felt close enough to to seek out for guidance regarding more serious subjects. Coran was out, he couldn’t be trusted not to run off and tell Mel and Al. She wasn’t even remotely ready for Keith yet. That left one person.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” Shiro smiled down at her.

“Hi.” She got up and the hugged him.

“Glad you’re all right” he said softly.

She held him a little too long and the embrace had tears bubbling up in her eyes but she quickly blinked them away. They pulled apart and sat.

“I’ll be honest I’m surprised you wanted to meet for lunch. We don’t really do one on one, not without Keith and Adam.”

Allura studied him for a while. His scar was gone, hair all black and he still had his arm. She also noticed his wedding band and smiled.

“I just, really needed to talk to someone.”

“Is everything ok? Is it about Keith?”

“No, well sort of. I need to get something off my chest.”

They paused as the waitress greeted the table and took their orders. When she left they resumed the conversation. Allura took a moment to figure out how she was going to spin this without mentioning death and other realities and Voltron and things this Shiro probably never had to deal with. She decided to fib a bit and go with “slight coma” resulting in memory loss.

“I can remember people and faces but I really can’t remember much before I went to the hospital along with some general daily tasks and I’m afraid it’s affecting a lot of things.”

“Allura you really should see a doctor about this.” Shiro rested his chin on his clasped hands.

“I don’t want to go back to the hospital and I don’t want to worry mother and father. They hover enough as is. Plus I’m hoping simply doing these things will help jog my memory.”

“I get it, but you’re not even going to tell Keith? You two are close aren’t you?”

“Yes but, I don’t want him to worry either.” Allura looked down and used her straw to push the ice around in her drink.

“Allura look, I think you already know this about Keith, but it bears repeating. Keeping things from him in order to protect him doesn’t work. He hates that stuff, he hates being out of the loop when he knows he could have helped. Give him a chance. Plus he knows you better than anyone else. He can help you with all the things you’re having trouble recalling.”

Allura sighed.

“You’re right.”

“And he really likes you, you know that right? He’d do whatever you asked, even if he won’t admit it.”

Allura blushed and chewed her straw as Shiro flashed her smirk. The waitress came back with the food and Allura was suddenly grateful for the distraction.

“Talk to him.” Shiro suggested one last time, unfurling the silverware from the napkin it was rolled up in.

“Yes sir.” She smiled.

“Oof don’t make me sound too old now.” He chuckled and placed the napkin in his lap.

After lunch, and some more mulling she whipped out her phone and asked Keith if he was free to meet and if he didn’t mind picking her up. Her stomach couldn’t help but flutter at how quickly he responded. He had some errands to run but he could meet her in an hour. That was fine. She needed to work out what she was going to say anyway. She wrung her hands, paced her bedroom, rehearsed. When he finally came to get her he took her to the arboretum near campus where they could walk around quietly with most people gone for summer break.

“Allura you should see a doctor” was all he could say after Allura explained her so-called amnesia.

“Shiro already suggested that. I don’t want to go there yet.”

“You talked to Shiro?” His head whipped toward her, a brief hint of betrayal on his face.

“I didn’t want to worry you. Don’t be upset.”

“I’m not mad I’m just…I wish you’d come to me first if you were having problems.” His brow furrowed as he looked forward and crossed his arms close to his chest.

“Shiro already guilted me for not confiding in you, please don’t make me feel bad about it too. I’m rather confused with all of this.” Allura let out a deep exhale and shoved her hands in the pockets of her light oversized cardigan.

“I’m sorry, I’m sure you’re kinda scared right now.” He meandered a little closer to her so that their shoulders brushed as they walked.

“So…you’ll help me?” She looked up at him.

“Of course. Just call me Enclyclopedia Alluratannica.” He nudged her with a smile.

She grinned and nodded.

“Favorite color?”

“Pink.”

“What foods do I like?”

“Pasta, tacos, cheese pizza, strawberry milkshakes.”

“Mind explaining this?”

Allura pulled up her phone and opened one of her social media accounts and scrolled through the numerous pictures. The photo depicted her at some sort of celebration wearing the kind of dress that would have given Coran a small stroke. Matt had his arm around her neck and they both looked visibly inebriated.

“Oh heh that was Matt’s birthday party. God we got so hammered.” He took the phone and looked upon the picture fondly. “It prompted our little talk actually.”

“Hmm?”

Keith yanked his phone out of his back pocket and when he found what he was looking for he handed it over. It was a picture from that same night. Keith had one hand on a cocktail and the other around Allura’s waist. Both her hands clutched his shoulders, her lips were on his.

“Lance couldn’t wait to send it to me the next day after he was done puking his life out. I didn’t remember it and neither did you, but the fact that we even did it…”

“Hence discussing if there was something more between us” she finished.

“And then you got sicker,” he added, “and I never got my answer.”

She cleared her throat and quickly handed the phone back to him.

“You’re going to have to remind me of so many things I’m sure you’ll get sick of me.” Allura laughed nervously trying to change the subject. She started to walk again, very aware of how intently his eyes were on her.

“I’m sure I won’t” he responded catching up to her, his tone a bit more solemn now.

“What am I studying in school?”

“Chemistry.”

“Ah that sounds about right.”

“Allura.”

“I wonder if it will be difficult for me to ease back into things when I return to sch-”

“Allura.” Keith interrupted her more persistently.

She tried to keep walking but he reached out, hooking his index and middle fingers around hers and holding on gently. She stopped and turned.

“Look, I know you don’t remember a lot right now, you don’t remember how we were before or our conversation and it’ll take time and I’ll give it to you, but you need to know I care about you. I care about you a lot. I wanted to be with you then and I’ll wait to be with you now.”

Allura’s chest thumped and she felt relief and shame bubbling up at once. Relief because she’d waited to hear Keith say such words to her for the longest time, but this wasn’t her Keith saying it and it felt a little selfish on her part to take advantage of what felt like a gift that didn’t belong to her. A little voice deep down tried to justify her joy by reminding herself of the lion’s message that her journey wasn’t over before waking up in this time and place. Surely that was a sign this was meant for her to have wasn’t it? It couldn’t have been a mere coincidence that in this reality Allura and Keith felt something for each other as well.

“You’re right. I don’t remember every moment and conversation. But, I’m open to try.”

Keith’s expression softened and his fingers that held hers tugged and pulled her into him. He closed the distance, his mouth inching toward hers when her phone went off. They both sighed and hung their heads in defeat as she looked at the screen and pressed the green symbol.

“Hi. Mhm, yes I’ll be home soon. Ok. Love you, bye.” She hung up and let her hand drop to her side. “Mum wondering if I’ll be home for dinner. She’s wanted to spend every moment together since I came home.”

“I know the feeling.” He chuckled. “I’ll take you home.”

//

Keith couldn’t sit still. He chewed his fingernails into oblivion as he marched back and forth in the conference room. He was so lost in thought he flinched when the doors finally slid open. Krolia entered, followed by Kolivan and the guest he’d sent Kolivan to find. The door hissed shut and his mother and Kolivan took a seat. The chair next to Keith pulled back and the familiar alien crawled into it and sat up tall.

“Slav, good to see you.” Keith shook one of his many hands.

“And you as well but I’m curious as to why you’ve sought me out although if I put my mind to it I could conjecture a guess.”

“I’m gonna be frank. Is there any way at this point to wormhole jump?”

“Well there’s always a way, you just need the proper conditions and craft suitable for travel.”

“Ok I get that in general but I mean realistically, right now, is there a way?”

Slav stroked the whiskers on his chin and his forehead scrunched.

“I will also be frank. With no lions, no comet ore, Oriande destroyed and the princess being…well the probabilities are rather small.”

Keith sat back in his chair in a huff.

“What about the other Alteans?”

“Unfortunately the study of alchemy and quintessence wielding was lost after the destruction of Altea. Sadly the knowledge doesn’t appear to have been passed down. None of the currently living Alteans have even a fraction of the skill level that the princess or Haggar possessed.”

That wasn’t what Keith wanted to hear and his lips curled into a scowl.

“I’m happy to start working on something but it’s going to take time to research every possibility, building a craft that can withstand the jump, then the trial runs…” Slav prattled on.

“FINE!” Keith snapped, cutting Slav off and prompting the rest of the room to become awkwardly silent.

Realizing he was now being stared at, he pushed himself away from the table and stormed from the room. Krolia paused then excused herself and followed her son, walking at a steady pace after him.

“Keith,” Krolia called out, careful of her words, “why are you doing this?”

He stopped, keeping his back to her.

“Because she’s out there. I can feel it.”

“Yes but, well do you plan on telling the others of your intentions? Shiro? Pidge? Hunk?”

“I don’t want to worry them, get their hopes up. I’ll tell them when I actually find her.”

“And what about Lance?”

Keith’s eye twitched slightly at the mere mention of that name.

“What about him?”

“What happens when, say, you find her? What happens then? You don’t think Lance will be upset that you kept this from him? He won’t wonder why you went to all the effort?”

Keith spun around and crossed his arms with a defiant tight lipped smirk.

“He should be grateful I found her. Besides let’s be honest he wouldn’t know the first thing about how to-” he stopped himself from finishing, pushing out air through his nostrils. “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

“And you’re just going to hand her over?”

“She’s not property.”

“You know what I mean Keith. You’re about to search the ends of the universe for another man’s girlfriend? Out of the goodness of your heart?”

“I cared about her too damnit!” he hissed through gritted teeth.

“But no one else is going to these lengths except you! Everyone else has accepted it and is trying to heal and move on except you!” She pushed a little harder.

“BECAUSE I CAN’T ACCEPT IT!” he roared, finally admitting what Krolia had been trying to coax from him all this time. “I can’t accept it because I love her. I love her more than he ever could! I loved her first! I love her and I feel her and I’m bringing her home because I can’t keep going without her!” he screamed, eyes becoming glossy as he slammed his fist against the nearby wall.

The impact as his balled hands hitting the cold metal caused an invisible force that pulsed and rippled outward, across stars and space and time. It traveled through cities and towns, through neighborhoods, through a simple two story house.

Allura doubled over in the shower, quickly sinking down so as not to slip as her vision blurred and her heart ached. She gasped heavily trying to suck air into her lungs as her heart pounded so loudly in her chest she thought she was having an attack. As she curled up she noticed her hair falling down around her, wet and white as snow. She snatched her own locks in her hand and inspected it closer, watching as it phased and faded from black to white back to black.

When she thought she had enough strength about her, she crawled out of the bathtub and pulled herself up on the counter. Wiping her hand across the steamed up mirror, she stared back at her soaked foggy reflection. One blue eye with pink iris stared back at her and her cheek marks burned from underneath her skin. Her two selves battled for dominance, flickering back and forth before she returned to her human self.

Allura sunk to her knees, whole body trembling violently.

“W-What’s happening to me?” she whimpered, tears stinging her eyes as she coiled herself waiting for the aching to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another short chapter but happy to be updating this story again! I missed it and thank you for waiting as long as you have for me to get back to it.


End file.
